For almost my entire life I’ve been extraordinarily cynical about New Year’s Eve. The dreary anti-climaxes and the insincere promises made to oneself made during a bout of quiet self-loathing used to make me roll my eyes. To me, NYE (to give it its popular acronym) was always just another day as insignificant as the one before it.
Never did I think I’d ever be so glad to see the back end of a year. “2012, fuck you and goodbye”, is all I have to say on the matter. It’s been a year where I’ve really struggled with my mental health and suffered a handful of other misfortunes.
That’s not to say there weren’t high points. Joining my lover and tormentor of almost two years now @peteypetey1982 and his friends in New York for his 30th was a hoot, being in charge of So So Gay’s coverage of the BFI’s 26th London Lesbian and Gay Film Festival was a brilliant opportunity, as was leading and representing the site’s coverage as media partners of the Iris Prize Festival was tremendous and reinforced with vigour my undivided love for the festival.
But from November onwards the shit didn’t just hit the fan, it flew into a jet turbine. With sadness I left my post at So So Gay and the magazine altogether for various and unfortunate reasons, then I had a horrendous week regarding my medication completely misfiring, and then to top it off December saw the approach to Christmas being homophobically assaulted and having to take significant time off everything whilst I recovered from concussion.
I grumble, but it could have been a lot worse, especially as I know several close to me who had a rougher time of it but politely, for the most part, put up with my rants and whines nonetheless (sorry for being such a self-centred git).
But I made it through 2012 in a better state than Britney did 2007, and oddly I’m suddenly down with the whole New Year’s guff, feeling like I have the chance to start afresh blah blah blah. The cynical side of me hates myself for feeling this way, but sod it, the other side of me doesn’t care anymore.
Therefore I’m really hoping to do more writing here, especially as there are drafts of posts that didn’t end up getting published due to the left side of my head being very swollen. But for those (30 or so) people who read this, thanks for bearing with me the past year, and I hope to deliver a bit more through this blog if you’ll let me.
Blwyddyn Newydd Dda (because I’m Welsh, innit).
Extra special thanks to my housemate @thezulu, and @tomwicker for being impeccable friends, my family, and for the fantastic work that the Metro Centre in Greenwich do for LGBT physical and mental health.